Looking Back On A Wonderful Semester

It is absolutely crazy to think that I am already done with one semester of my senior year.  It has been crazy, busy, stressful, and fun.  The class that I have enjoyed the most this year has definitely been SLCC.  At the beginning of the year, I really did not know what to expect.  In the past, English class has always been the one class that I would dread going to every day, however, this year, I look forward to SLCC each and every day.  Looking back and reflecting on this past semester in SLCC, I have realized that I have grown immensely as a writer, student, and have found a passion for writing that I never thought I had.
As a senior, of course college applications have been a huge part of my year so far.  Although I had my sights set on one school, Gustavus Adolphus College, I decided to apply to thirteen schools.  Of course along with a long list of colleges come a large amount of essays.  Between all of the colleges I applied to, I wrote a total of eleven essays, not including my scholarship essays!  Even though I wrote a ton of essays, I enjoyed it much more that I expected.  I loved being able to write essays about something I enjoy.  I was able to write about my passions such as Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp and figure skating.  Also, I found it very helpful to receive feedback on my essays as well as advice on how to improve them.  Thanks to the helpful feedback on my essays, I have been accepted to ten of my thirteen schools so far!  Overall, the college essays were one of my favorite assignments of the semester.

Looking back on the memoir unit, I realize how much I thoroughly enjoyed it.  First of all, I really liked the fact that we were able to pick a book that interested us.  I read Two Kisses For Maddy by Matthew Logelin.  Normally, I am not one who enjoys reading, however, after reading the first page of this book, I did not want to put it down.  Also, with this unit, I really enjoyed creating a presentation and writing an essay to go along with it.  Surprisingly, I enjoyed this unit much more than I expected.
The unit I struggled with most this semester was The Laramie Project.  Out of all parts of this unit, I enjoyed the in-class discussions the most.  These discussions really helped me see a new and different perspective on certain aspects of the book.  Hearing the opinions and perspectives of others helped me to better understand the book and all of the different sides.  However, one thing I really struggled with was The Laramie Project essay.  First of all, I found it somewhat difficult to try and put every aspect of the prompt within my essay, but I liked how the prompt made me think about many different parts of the book.  Also, I struggled with writing the essay after I was faced with a difficult situation.  After processing this however, I was able to use the situation as a way to add passion to my essay.  Overall, I enjoyed the thought provoking questions and perspectives that were a part of this unit.
Reflecting on the most recent project of this year, the final debate, the thing that stood out to me the most is how much a perspective can change because of something as simple as research.  For this project I was pro Standardized Testing.    Before doing research, I believed that although standardized testing was not the most fun thing, it is effective and necessary.  However, after researching the topic, my opinion changed.  I realized that although there are many pros to standardized testing, there are also many cons.  My opinion changed from pro to in the middle.  I enjoyed all aspects of this project including; the research, the essay, and the presentation.
Overall, this semester in SLCC has been wonderful!  I have learned SO much.  Although there have been many essays, assignments, and books, I enjoy working hard and improving for college and beyond.  Thanks to SLCC, I feel that by the end of the year I will be well-prepared for college.  It is crazy to think that in just five months I will be graduating and how far I have come in the past seventeen years.

Then...

and now.

"He had one more friend with him, he had God."

At the end of The Laramie Project, Dennis Shepard, Matthew Shepard's father, gave an emotional statement about the death of his son.  It is difficult to not only listen to, but even to read.  He reads this statement during the trail of Aaron McKinney, one of the accused.  In his statement, Dennis Shepard says, "I would like nothing better than to see you die, Mr. McKinney.  however, this is the time to begin the healing process.  To show mercy to someone who refused to show any mercy.  Mr. McKinney, I am going to grant you life, as hard as it is for me to do so, because of Matthew" (Kaufman.III 96).  Although Judy, Dennis, and Matthew Shepard all believed in the death penalty and despite a difficult decision, Aaron McKinney was granted life.  Dennis Shepard then says, "Every time you celebrate Christmas, a birthday, the Fourth of July, remember that Matt isn't.  Every time you wake up in your prison cell, remember that you had the opportunity and the ability to stop your actions that night.  You robbed me of something very precious, and I will never forgive you for that.  Mr. McKinney, I give you life in the memory of one who no longer lives.  May you have a long life and may you thank Matthew every day for it" (Kaufman.III 96).  Aaron McKinney committed a crime that affected the lives of many not only in the town of Laramie or the state of Wyoming, but a crime that affected the whole world.  He was granted life in memory of Matthew.

"The last thing he saw on this earth was the sparkling lights" (Kaufman.III 99).

One of the most powerful words in the play The Laramie Project came from the statement of Dennis Shepard.  In his statement he talked about not just his son, but his hero.  Dennis Shepard says, "On October 12, 1998, my firstborn son and my hero lost.  On October 12, 1998, my firstborn son and my hero died, fifty days before his twenty-second birthday.  I keep wondering the same thing that I did when I first saw him in the hospital.  What would he have become?  How could he have changed his piece of the work to make it better?" (Kaufman.III 95).  Dennis and Judy Shepard did not just lose their son, they lost their hero.  The part of the book that stood out the most was when Dennis Shepard says, "You, Mr. McKinney, with your friend Mr. Henderson left him out there by himself , but he wasn't alone.  There was his lifelong friends with him, friends that he had grown up with.  You're probably wondering who these friends were.  First, he had the beautiful night sky and the same stars and moon that we used to see through a telescope.  Then he had the daylight and the sun to shine on him.  And through it all he was breathing in the scent of pine trees form the snowy range.  He heard the wind, the ever-present Wyoming wind, for the last time.  He had one more friend with him, he had God.  And I feel better knowing that he wasn't along" (Kaufman.III 95).  He was alone, yet not alone.  "He had God."

H-O-P-E

Hope is defined as the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.  Despite the devastating tragedy of the murder of Matthew Shepard that defined the town of Laramie, it seems as if there was a sense of hope.  Throughout Act II and Act III of The Laramie Project, hope is prevalent among overbearing sadness.  Doc O'Conner said, "I'll tell you what, if they put those two boys to death, that would defeat everything Matt would be thinking about on them.  Because Matt would not want those two to die.  He'd want to leave them with hope.  H-O-P-E.  Just like the whole world hoped that Matt would survive.  The whole thing, you see, the whole thing, ropes around hope, H-O-P-E" (Kaufman.II 72).  It is crazy to think that within such an awful crime, that hope could come out of it.  During Matthew's funeral, Matthew's father, Dennis Shepard, said, "First he had the beautiful night sky and the same stars and the moon that we used to see through a telescope.  Then he had the daylight and the sun to shine on him.  And through it all he was breathing in the scent of pine trees from the snowy range.  He heard the wind, the ever present Wyoming wind, for the last time.  He had one more friend with him, he had God.  And I feel better knowing that wasn't alone" (Kaufman.III 95).  Almost unimaginable, it is amazing to realize that hope could come out of such a horrific crime.  There was hope in a time of darkness.

     

Once Defined By Beauty...

Laramine, Wyoming was a beautiful town full of good people.  Sergeant Hing says, "It's a good place to live.  Good people--lots of space" (Kaufman 6).  Throughout Act I of The Laramie Project, there are many references to the amazing place that Laramie is.  Although many outsiders did not understand the true beauty of Laramie, everyone there believed it was on of the most beautiful and best places to live on Earth.  However, after the hate crime against Matthew Shepard, things changed.  Jedadiah Schultz says, "If you would have asked me before, I would have told you Laramie is a beautiful town, secluded enough that you can have your own identity....A town with a strong sense of community--everyone knows everyone....A town with a personality that most larger cities are stripped of.  Now, after Matthew, I would say that Laramie is a town defined by an accident, a crime" (Kaufman 9).  It is crazy to think how much a town of beauty could be changed around so quickly.  What was once defined by beauty is now defined by accident and crime.  Jedidiah Schultz says, "We're a noun, a definition, a sign" (Kaufman 9).

What I imagine Laramie to look like before the crime...

http://vimeo.com/46322433

What I imagine Laramie to look like after the crime...

(The first 20 seconds of this video)

Motivation

Everyone ponders the question, "What does it take to be successful?"  In the memoir, The Secret To Success, Eric Thomas answers this question.  Today, Eric Thomas uses his skills to motivate and inspire others through his speeches.  He travels all around talking to athletes, students, and many other types of people about how to achieve success.  He strives to motivate others to put in the effort to become successful.  "It's one thing to talk about your destiny but it is another thing to make the decisions necessary to actualize that destiny."

Phil Jackson, a former NBA basketball player and coach, wrote Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success.  His memoir is truly inspirational.  He won a total of eleven NBA titles as coach, two NBA titles as a player, coached the USA Olympic basketball team, and is considered one of the greatest coaches in the history of NBA. In 2011 he was diagnosed with cancer.  Despite this devastation, he continued to be there for his team, coaching them to success.  Phil Jackson is never short of wise words, "Wisdom is always an over match for strength."  Another wise quote from Phil Jackson is, "Always keep an open mind and a compassionate heart."  Phil Jackson loved coaching basketball.  He instilled hard work in his players, but also character.

The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother is a memoir written by James McBride.  James McBride was one of twelve kids.  He explains his struggle of finding his identity as a black boy with a white mother.  Growing up he would ask his mother questions about the differences in their skin color, yet each time she would tell him not to worry about it.  In his memoir, there are many things that are truly inspiring.  First of all, he says that from failure, it is important to learn lessons.  He also explains that people will always have something you think is better than what you have.  Finally, he also says, "No one can be you better than you."  Throughout his memoir, he truly explores what it is like to live life as you and nobody other than you.  

A Positive Outlook

Sometimes the positive outlook people have on life makes it difficult to believe what they have been through.  After hearing about the memoir, A Stolen Life, it became evident that Jaycee Dugard was one of these people.  At just eleven years old, Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped and help captive in a destroyed backyard for eighteen years.  Her memories are often fragmented and incomplete as she had a difficult time keeping track of the days, months, and years.  She constantly felt scared and alone.  It is extremely hard to imagine the suffering and pain she was going through.  Despite of the tough times are traumatizing experiences that Jaycee Dugard went through, she has such a positive outlook on life.  It is amazing to think that after something as horrifying as this experience that someone could go about life with such a positive attitude.  In a video, Jaycee Dugard says, "Life's adventure is important.  It is important to live life to its fullest every day."  It is inspiring to see the immensely positive outlook that Jaycee Dugard has on life, living life to its fullest each and every day.  

Although many times in life it is difficult to realize, the intangible things are the things that truly matter.  The memoir Marley & Me truly displays the true meaning of love and happiness.  This memoir written by John Grogan is a heartwarming story of him and his wife who get a dog assuming that it would be great practice of responsibility before having a child.  However, turns out Marley is much more than they bargained for.  Marley destroys their house, is expelled from obedience school, and eats just about everything, including a gold necklace.  Despite Marley's crazy behavior, his endless love and devotion outweigh all.  He was there with the Grogan's through all the tough times.  Marley taught the Grogans an endless amount of lessons, from devotion and love, to helping them realize what really matters in life.  Through this book, John Grogan uses the lessons he learned from Marley to share with all of his readers.  "Grogan tells a simple story of one family's life, a mostly typical family.  But he does it so beautifully and the reader is drawn in by his voice until you become a part of his tale, shaking your head at Marley, laughing at his next indiscretion, delighting in his high points and worrying when things aren't going well.  You'll understand the gift that Marley was to this family...Grogan has crafted a loving but unsentimental memory of his dog and what he meant to him, his wife and his children.  And that's his gift to us." -The Birmingham News

The Things We Don't See

Throughout life, there are a countless number of things that we do not realize and see.  From something as simple as someone being bullied, to the difficulties and tragedies happening in other countries.  After hearing about the book A Long Way Gone, I learned something that I had never heard about before, child soldiers in Sierra Leone.  In this memoir by Ishmael Beah he explains his struggles and hardships as a child soldier.  One of his main reasons for writing his memoir was to raise awareness about the issue that is many times overseen and unknown by many.  He is currently a spokesperson for Unicef and is constantly trying to put a stop to child soldiers.  In his memoir he says, "Killing people had become as easy as drinking water."  It is crazy to think children as young as five are being put through traumatizing experiences such as these to this day.  Although it is very difficult to put this into perspective,  the things that are occurring in Sierra Leone are horrifying.  It is something so unseen by so many people, yet something that is all the children in Sierra Leone know.

It is hard to believe that war is still so prevalent all around the world today.  Hearing about the memoir The Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrel, it becomes evident that war is a constant struggle and a harsh, devastating battle.  The title speaks for itself, The Lone Survivor.  Marcus Luttrel along with three others (Danny Dietz, Mike Murphy, and Matt Axelson) are sent on "Operation Red Wing" in the Hindu Kush Mountains to capture the notorious Taliban leader Ahmad Shahd.  After a long, hard, devastating battle, Marcus Luttrel came out as the lone survivor.  It is difficult to imagine being in this situation, however, Marcus Luttrel explains his experience and journey at war in his memoir.  

"Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding."

                Violence has quickly become the conclusion and solution that much of mankind has chosen when conflict arises.  It has become prevalent all over the world, plaguing many nations.  The War shows horrifying violence and war and the traumatic experiences that many face as a result. But, with most everything, lessons can always be learned.  This film is a memoir, told by a twelve-year-old girl, Lidia, whose father has recently returned from the Vietnam War.  Through her eyes, she has many lessons to learn.  Most importantly, Lidia realizes not to take loved ones for granted and that war does not solve anything.  With violence comes war, and with war come violence, they go hand in hand, and yet neither war nor violence solve anything.

                “It’s not a bad idea to occasionally spend a little time thinking about things you take for granted.  Plain everyday things.”  In The War, this is one of the greatest lessons that Lydia learns as she ventures throughout her everyday life.  Stephen Simmons, Lidia’s father, has just returned from the war and is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress.  The sounds and emotion used in The War portray the awfulness of PTS.  It is very difficult for Lidia to see her father this way.  He suffered many upsetting experiences throughout the war, including leaving his best friend Dodge behind, and is the not the same as he used to be, and Lidia sees that.  Lidia sees her father as somewhat useless and does respect how hard he works to support his family.  After being released from a mental hospital, Mr. Simmons is on a mission to find a job.  He is finally given a job at the local elementary school in the tiny town of Juliet, Mississippi, but soon after, he is fired because he has been in a mental hospital.  It is not until her father dies that she realizes how much she wished he was still there.  Lidia took her father for granted, and now he is gone. 

                The fact that fighting does not solve anything is another lesson that is prevalent throughout the film.  In the Vietnam War, there are an unthinkable number of deaths and causalities.  Many innocent Vietnamese people get killed along with many American soldiers.  In the end, nobody actually “wins” the war.  Not only does this type of sadness occur in war, but it also often occurs in everyday life.  Many people try and beat out others to come out on top and in the end, they not only end up hurting themselves, but also others.   In The War, the Lipnicki children fight with Stu, Lidia, and their friends over a tree house they built.  Both sides hurt the other physically and verbally thus turning this fight into somewhat of a “war.”  The fighting quickly escalates as the methods of fighting become even worse until the tree house is then set on fire by the Lipnicki children.  What many people do not realize, is that fighting goes nowhere, it just creates an even bigger problem. 

                War or violence is not the answer.  It solves absolutely nothing.  In The War, both the Vietnam War and the fighting and violence among the children are not beneficial to either side.  Violence is not the answer, it just causes more problems.  However, despite the tensions amongst the Lipnicki children and Stu, Mr. Simmons restores faith in humanity.  He decides to teach Stu a lesson by giving the cotton candy that was intended for Lidia and Mrs. Simmons to two of the Lipnicki children.  Stu angrily asks why he did that and Mr. Simmons replies, “They look like they haven’t been given nothin’ in a long time.”  Despite the fighting and violence in the world, even something as simple as generosity can restore faith in humanity and can also teach us a lesson in the process.  There are many lessons to be learned throughout The War.  Take time to be thankful for the ones you love because you never know when they might not be there anymore.  No matter how angry and overbearing a situation can become, violence and war are not the answer. Instead, be one who restores the faith in humanity.  

Be Still

Be still and know I am God.

Be still and know I am. 

Be still and know. 

Be still. 

Be.

This song is a song that I hold very close to my heart.  The lyrics in this song mean a lot to me.  I listen to this song often and it has become a reminder for me, a reminder to always "Be still."  Especially when I am having a bad day, I listen to this song.  "Be still and know I am God."  Through bad days and tough decisions, this song reminds me that God has a plan for me and I just need to "be still" and know that everything will work out.  I listened to this song constantly while I was contemplating whether to work at camp or skate this past summer.  Although it was a tough decision, this song helped me get through that.  After trusting in the plan that God had for me, I ended up working at camp this past summer, and I could not have been happier with that decision.  I let God lead me in the right direction and trusted in his plan.   

The Moments I Live For

Nonstop training, hard work, and dedication, but nothing compares to the real moment.  As I step onto the slippery, cold surface, I anticipate the next four minutes.  All the hours I have put into the sport, but none of that matters anymore.  I have four minutes to make it all count.  This is the real deal.  People all around me are yelling my name, ready to cheer me on, but I hear none of it.  An entire audience and panel of judges are staring right at me, watching my every move, but I do not even notice.  I am completely focused and determined, and nothing can change that.  I am 100% in the moment, ready to skate my heart out.  My name is finally called and I take the ice with a huge smile across my face.  It is my turn to show everyone what I am made of.  As I wait for my music to begin, I feel the adrenaline rushing through my body.  Two seconds feels like an eternity as I wait for my music to begin.  This is the moment I have trained so hard for and I am as prepared as I can be.  My smile is radiating throughout the rink as I perform.  I go from element to element focusing on one thing at a time.  One jump landed, but there is no time to be overly excited, I must focus on what is coming next.  I continue to complete elements in my program and draw closer to the end of my program knowing that I have done everything I can do.  The smile cannot be wiped off my face as I bow to the judges and skate off the ice knowing that I have done my best.  After getting off the ice, my coach gives me a huge huge hug and I can tell she is proud of me.  I impatiently and anxiously wait for the results to come up and when they finally do, to my surprise, I have won!  The feeling cannot be put into words.  However, it was not the feeling of winning that made me so ecstatic, it was the feeling of not only hard work paying off, but being able to compete, to share my passion, and most of all, to just do what I love, skate.  These are the moments I live for.

Trust In Your Heart

This past March, I was faced with the toughest decision I have ever encountered.  I had to pick between the two things that mean the world to me, figure skating and Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp.  I had sacrificed so much for figure skating and spent countless hours on the ice, did I really want to give it all up?  However, Rainbow Trail was a place that was home for me and a place I had dreamed of working at since I first arrived there as a camper three years prior.  After hearing many opinions from my parents and friends, I realized that I needed to follow my heart and before I knew it, I began my journey working at Rainbow Trail for the entire summer.  The time I spent at Rainbow Trail this past summer became an experience I would not trade anything for.  Although too young to be a counselor, I was given the opportunity to work with kids as a counselor for a week!  It was such a joy and rewarding experience to have a cabin full of eight and nine year old girls.  It was amazing to see them grow in their faith and closer to one another in just one week.  Also, I was given the wonderful opportunity to go to Centennial for a Day Camp (like Vacation Bible School).  I had a class of nine darling second graders.  It was awesome to see them grow in their faith as well.  After working with kids all summer, I have realized how much I enjoy it and would love to do something with kids in the future.  This summer I also grew very close to the other staff that I had the pleasure of working with.  We went from not knowing one another at all, to a family. Each and every person I was blessed with knowing this summer certainly had a huge impact on my life.  As I reflect on my summer at Rainbow Trail, I cannot even put into words how amazing my experience was.  It truly changed me.  Follow your heart.  You never know where it will lead you.

Just a little bit about the place I call home...

A few pictures from my wonderful summer...

My True Colors

Ever since the very first time I set foot on the ice at the age of 10, I fell in love with figure skating.  Whenever I am on the ice I feel like I am where I am supposed to be, it is my home.  My favorite part of figure skating is the immense amount of dedication, determination, and hard work it takes to achieve goals and competing.  It has taught me so many life lessons and about who I am and want to be.  One of the most beneficial lessons I have learned is to never give up.  There are many times (especially in skating) where I fall down, but I have learned to always get up and try again and I love the challenge of always being able to do better.  Sonja Henie once said, "It's a sense of power, of command over distance and gravity, and an illusion of no longer having to move because movement is carrying you."

This is a video of me skating.  It is a little bit outdated, but still shows me doing what I love! :)

Another one of my favorite things is the Bible verse Proverbs 3:5-6.  It truly represents my life this past year and, especially, this past summer.  This verse has helped me get through many tough times and has helped lead me to where I am today.  When I am having a tough day or need some inspiration I always come back to this.